What to do when you can't talk....BLOG

Well, so much for thinking I only had a cold. Turns out I have Tracheal Bronchitis. What is that you might ask? I ask the same thing, so please let me know when you figure it out. I googled it and I came up with a bunch of bunk and one link that got my attention. Tracheal Bronchitis in dogs, aka kennel cough.

So there it is. I basically have kennel cough. NICE.

I woke up this morning and had absolutely no voice. That's never happened to me before. I've been squeaky, I've had the whiskey-janis joplin voice, but no voice at all? Never happened. I had to text Alisa to call my Dr. to get me an appointment this morning. I went to work, and as soon as I opened my mouth, the laughs started. Yeah, they aren't too compassionate at my work. Fortunately I was only there for an hour and a half before I had to leave for the Dr.

So at the Dr's office, she asks if I smoke. I very proudly said (whispered) NO, I just quit almost 2 weeks ago. She was obviously happy to hear that, and proceeded to tell me that my lungs were clear, so my infection was in my larynx. This is where she starts spouting off doctor stuff and I'm trying desperately to identify at least every other word she's saying. Really, I'm only listening for those magic words....'I prescribe', and 'antibiotic'. Finally I heard those words, but then she added some unexpected goodness to my visit. 'You need to rest at home, losing your voice is nothing to mess with, can you be off work'. Can I be off work? Did I really just hear that question? Well hell yes I can be off work. I don't remember the last time I had an actual doctor's note, but I have one now. I am to be off work for 2 days so I can 'recover comfortably, and not be tempted to talk at work'. SWEET. My orders are to take my antibiotic, and not talk. Not even whisper. Apparently I am to use hand signals or hang a dry erase board around my neck. Alisa leaves for an out of town work session on Tuesday, so being silent shouldn't be a problem for me for the next couple days. Tonight, however, was a bit difficult. I dare you to try to not talk to someone you live with. It's hard to do, even if you have no voice. When I want to get Alisa's attention, and no words would come out, I would make that clicking noise with my tongue. Sometimes I snap my fingers if she doesn't hear the clicking noise. Fortunately I'm not bothered that she's laughing at me when I do that. It really is comical to see. All I need is a helmet to make sure I don't lick the windows. Ohhhh, I didn't say that.

ANYWAY, I'm on my own for the next few days, 2 of which will be spent completely at home, alone, with the animals and no talking. This will definitely be an experience. Hopefully I don't drive myself bonkers. I will probably be online a lot, just to hang on to my sanity. I can't even call the dogs. I try, but nothing comes out. I wonder how quickly they can react to finger snaps and pointing? We shall see. So far they just look at me funny. As if they are saying 'Mom, why are you squeaking?' I think they only come to me out of curiousity instead of minding me.

Since I can't talk, I will probably blog again very soon. I need to talk SOMEHOW.

And yet again, off to my couch I go. One day I'll be able to sleep horizontally again. Sleeping propped up on the couch is WONDERFUL for the back.

*cough* g'nite *cough*

Excuse me, can I bum a smo....sucker?

So Day #11 is in the books, onto Day #12. I have to say, this is much easier than I ever thought it could be. Of course, I have to remind myself that it's probably easy because I have that nifty little patch on my arm. At first I thought oye, 8 weeks of patches, but now I'm thinking only 8 weeks of patches? I imagine when I reach that 8 week mark, I'll be ready to say goodbye to these stinky patches. Fingers crossed.

So, my reward for becoming a non-smoker? A cold. Yippee skippee, a freakin cold, with a cough that is far worse than any cough I ever had when I smoked. Talk about irony. The cough actually concerned me so I did some googling, and low and behold, once a person stops smoking, they can expect to cough, usually very 'productively', for 1-3 weeks. It's the body getting rid of all the crap in its system. Super. I stop smoking, I get a cold, and I have to sleep on the couch so I don't keep everyone awake at night. This stopping smoking thing is GREAT.

I had a coughing fit at work. One of the ladies there hollered from across the room 'hey, how's that non-smoking thing working out for you', sarcastically of course. I however answered her. IT'S *cough* GREAT *cough* bitch *cough*. She laughed, and went outside to smoke. Probably smoking one of the cigs out of a pack I had leftover and gave her. I stop smoking, I get a cold, I get a cough, I sleep on the couch, someone else smokes my smokes. YooooHooooo....where are you silver lining? Come out come out wherever you arrrrrre.

I have noticed I don't have specific days that are harder than others, I have specific times. Like right after a big dinner, ooh that's a biggie. Or when I'm taking the dogs out, that's a big one there too. Standing at the stove making dinner, I didn't realize how often I smoked when I made dinner. But apparently it was all the time. Let me just say, when a sucker won't do, there have been a few straws that have met their untimely demise.

So, the bottom line is I'm still on the non-smoking wagon, and surprisingly, no slips. There were even a couple days when I left the house in the morning and forgot to put on a new patch. I was a little nervous, but I didn't smoke, didn't even crave it. But that's not surprising, since I didn't normally smoke during the day anyway, only in the evenings. I know, crazy. But regardless of when/how often I smoked, it's still a challenge. The weekends are also tough, especially now during football season. Maybe I can make a pact with myself. Only smoke when my Bengals score a touchdown. I'll never smoke again.

So here I sit. Practically middle of the night, waiting to get tired to hopefully grab a nap on the couch in between coughing fits. I may be enjoying a beer, and I may be up late, but I'm NOT smoking. It's a process, and hopefully this stupid cough will go away soon so I can sleep in my own bed again and attempt to get back on my normal schedule. Sleeping on the couch makes me feel like I got in trouble, when in fact I'm trying to do the exact opposite.

Slapping a patch on every morning now seems more like a habit than smoking does. I wonder if there's a program to help me get off the patches?

Maybe me getting a cold is a way to help me get off the smokes. I never smoked when I had a cold, which means I would go 2 or 3 days without a smoke. Maybe I should have taken those hints.

Off to my couch I go. I hope to report back soon with a Day 22 report. I am a non-smoker now. If I slip, it means just that, I slipped, but I am a non-smoker. Yay for me!

*cough* G'nite *cough*

Mac attack....

I decided I needed to check out what all the hype is about Mac/Apple computers so I bought one. Let me just say right now...I love it!! I can't really explain why other than I am a big fan of the OS X operating system vs. Windows Vista. It is very user friendly and seems to run smoothly. Originally I got it because Mom started a new job with the local school system and they use Mac computers and I knew she would have questions that I wouldn't be able to answer unless I knew what the heck she was talking about. So that is my excuse that I used when I told Tracey I needed a Mac. She bought the excuse and I bought the Mac....LOL. Now I need an iPod Touch....you know the drill....you need accessories!!!

And in case you were wondering....Tracey is doing an outstanding job with her quest to become a non-smoker. I am so proud of her.....she made it through the first week with flying colors. And I have no bruises either....suweet!!!

My Journey to Becoming a Non-Smoker

So my journey has begun. I finally took that monumental step to becoming a non-smoker. I slapped a nicotine patch on my arm today instead of sticking a smoke in my mouth. This is when my willpower really needs to step up to the plate. I have done a lot of reading, I've had lots of suggestions from my friends who have become non-smokers, and I also have a CD, which I haven't listened to yet, but I have a feeling I'll be listening to it very soon. I've been told to use suckers, chew on straws, and I have pamphlets that have suggestions of what to do when you 'feel the urge to smoke'. Suggestion #8 in one particular pamphlet actually says to put 20 cents in a jar for every cigarette I don't smoke, and count the money I've saved. Yeah, ok. Now I have about $14.80 in that jar, and I still need a smoke. Suggestion #9 says to buy something special. Ok. I know what I can buy to make me feel better that would be special. A PACK OF SMOKES. This pamphlet has to be a joke. Suggestion #19 says to take a nap. What? I'm jonesing for a smoke, and they want me to fall asleep? Oh for the love of all that is holy. Yeah, I'll get right on that. Suggestion #11, surf the internet. Maybe these folks should know that when I surf the internet, I have a smoke. Suggestion #20 says to sing. Really? Well, they maybe onto something here. I can definitely sing. Not necessarily on key, but I can sing. So if I want a smoke at midnight, I should start singing? I'm sure Alisa would LOVE that. Suggestion #32, wash my dog. Are they serious? My dogs have to be bathed everytime I feel the urge for a smoke? Those poor dogs, but they would be the cleanest dogs in the world. Just when they are about dry from the first bath, they would get bathed again.

But seriously, I have begun my journey to becoming a non-smoker. Will I fail? NO, I know I need to become a non-smoker. I know what happens to long-term smokers, I'm no dummy. Will I slip? I hope not, but that's all a part of becoming a non-smoker. If you slip, you jump right back on that wagon and go again. I know how hard this first day is. Why would I want to have to go thru this first day again? That alone seems to be enough incentive not to slip.

I knew I was going to become a non-smoker. I initially set my non-smoking date at August 4th. Unfortunately, I had to deal with the unexpected passing of our dog, Morgan, on August 3rd. Rule #1 of becoming a non-smoker: don't attempt to become a non-smoker when there are other 'events' going on in your life. So, my date was postponed. I didn't set a new date, I decided I would decide at the last minute. And that's what I did. I realized I had mourned for Morgan, and I was ready again to become a non-smoker. So last night, Tuesday night, I handed Alisa my smokes and told her it was time. She hid her joy very well, and was super supportive in spite of me chain-smoking for the last few minutes. I gave her requests to get rid of all ashtrays and make my smokes disappear. When I got out of bed this morning, all of the ashtrays were gone, and so were all of my smokes.

So here I sit, with a patch on my arm, strapped on with medical tape because it was lifting a little bit, and my brain saw that as nicotine trying to escape. Alisa strapped on the medical tape so all that nicotine can stay where it needs to be. I have 8 weeks of patches. EESH. Suckers. Suckers. Suckers. That seems to be my saving grace.

One day down. 4 thousand billion to go. Wish me luck.

And Alisa? She's my saving grace. Willpower? If my willpower fails me, all I have to do is think of her, and know how happy she is just knowing that I'm becoming a non-smoker. I get hugged more, cuddled more, and kissed more since I don't have the smoke smell on me. Hopefully she will never have to kiss an ashtray anymore.

Oh, and P.S. Notice I didn't use the words 'quit smoking'. I was told a long time ago that those were negative words and we don't quit smoking, we become 'non-smokers'. Sounds good to me. I'm no quitter.

Here's hoping I can become a non-smoker.